if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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