Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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