I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
