it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
