I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
