Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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