Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
