how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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