I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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