matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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