is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Enjoy the penises
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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