He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
