I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize