Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
