what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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