she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
