I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ketchup is God's man juice
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
