the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
