pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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