took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
