My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
