he wants to bone in the snuggie
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
