Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
