Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
