I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize