Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
