Me. At least after what I've been through.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
