I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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