ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
