i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize