No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
