Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
