nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
