I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
