Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm drive I can fine osifer
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
