uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
