Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
