she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
