they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm always down for nudity.
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