love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
