I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my shit smells like andre
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
