porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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