Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
