angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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