Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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