She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
