He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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