Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
