I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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