I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize