I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
