I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
