we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
