I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
