Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
