Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
