dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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