and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
