Farmville is her only friend.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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