Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
