i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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